Removing Movies From My Mind - Poetry and Inspirational Life Quotes

Stepping across aisles,
another row of seats
filled with memories, the “selves”,
the forgotten ones –
deeply abandoned parts of who I was to become ....
Hidden in the darkness –
the cinema that I believed was my life –
projected images, drama, sadness, silence,
hope, flights of happy relief,
suspended in dangles of questions
and contrived answers.
My life now staggers with Their revealing truths –
the vagueness becomes clearer,
the movies of my imaginary living are ending abruptly
and I must follow Their lead –
deeper and deeper
present with in my self,
Their comforting Presence –
hands, hearts touching,
closeness and beyond closeness,
Their quiet voices introducing me
-- more and more to “me” I have forgotten,
reminding me of Their present love
and my helpless past.
I experience massive waves of regret and fear –
And wonder --
wondering
if the stupor of the screen’s fabricated images
were not maybe a “better” way to go.
So much to re-experience.....
So much remains.
In our Presence together.

What Do We Really Want? -- Spiritual Awakening and Inspiratioinal Life Quotes

“The problem with doing what we want is that we don't know what we want .... powerlessness .... but our Higher Power knows – and Their will for me is what I “really” want – but don’t know it .....what happens is my life today is what I “want” – even if my humanness disagrees – all there is and can be is God’s will ..... right at this moment, my humanness is anxious about today’s outcomes ....How do I receive and accept Their gifts for me today? .... “ My Journal (posted on Facebook Saturday, August 14, 2010)

(Responses on Facebook at end of article. Thanks to everyone for sharing)

The challenge for me regarding what I want is that everything I perceive is filtered through my human brain, which attaches a good or bad rating to each molecule, and each unit of perception ....

Going back to the metaphor of the Garden of Eden, the curse was the perception or “knowledge” of good and evil .... at that point the illusion of good and bad was programmed into the human brain, and when the perceptual question is asked, “are you a good witch or a bad witch?” (Wizard of Oz), the answer will always be we and they and it are bad – frequently disguised in the thought and experience of “just not good enough” ....

In the context of the concepts of wants and needs, I will never be satisfied, because my brain will assert its “knowledge of good and evil” and nothing will ever be good enough – I will never be content or truly happy .... the best I can hope for is to be inebriated on thought or some other brain altering substance ....

The “knowledge of good and evil” is ultimately the foundation of separation from my God .... the temptation in the Eden metaphor was that they would become “like God” – without “needing” God .... and separation from God, from themselves, and from each other occurred – They were “ashamed” --- before there was no good and bad – but now, they were naked, and they experienced the shame of being bad – not good enough – abandoned and separated ... and they damned themselves to suffering and death for their perceived “sins” .... actually there was and is no “sin” – only shame = the perception and reaction of deserved separation and loneliness....

I spent most of my life trying to determine what God’s Will was. My brain – dominated by right/wrong, good/bad filter programming assigned the thought label of God’s Will to what I did and what occurred that seemed to be good or right ..... frequently this was just a judgment based on the results of outcomes .... when others seemed pleased – good or right .... if others were displeased – wrong and bad..... and I would punish myself accordingly .... I have never “needed” a “God” to create a hell for me suffer in....

For me, as all of the Twelve Steps converged on Step Eleven, I began to experience that as my conscious contact with my God improved, I began to see my self, and my life from their eyes .... as that occurred, I began to lose incrementaly the effects of the good/ bad mental programming filter .... with the “knowledge of God’s will for me” came an increasing awareness that all is good, and that my human self, without my God’s conscious Presence could not live that awareness ....

The material world and its inhabitants – including myself -- do not operate comfortably within such a radical “mental awakening” .... intimate Presence with God, for me, must be practiced as a life style, or my humanness will make outcomes appear life and death, right and wrong ... and I will ultimately be miserable no matter the outcome ...... when I have gotten the outcomes I “wanted” I was still restless, irritible, and discontented out of fear that I would lose my outcome and/or that the next outcome would be “bad” – “unwanted.”

“Having had a spiritual awakening, as the result of these steps ...... we practiced these principles in all affairs.”


Responses on Facebook to the original post:

Drollene B: If we need a lot of things to make us happy, we can cut down the possibility for unhappiness by paring down the list of needs and downgrade them to wants. If we have a long list of wants, thinking having them would make us happy, we can cut the criteria for happiness by downgrading our wants to preferences. If we have only preferences, we can always be happy. I think it's something to strive for. I'm not there yet.

Joseph P. Where we've been wrong is in the belief that we exist. At least in some concept of separateness and individuality. Such is the egoic illusion. The space in which this phantasmic self exists is merely holding a place in time and space better used as a channel for God's love, comfort, Light, forgiveness, peace. There is no MY will, only God's will and the opportunity to fall into harmony with it.

Gary S, Keep it simple.

Courteney B. Keeping my need/wants vs want/needs is what i strive for. when we get something we want we may not be ready for it, as it's 'our' will, not gods. we then may have to ask for it to be removed and clean up another mess, been there myself. :)

Drollene B. Okay, Gary, here it is, simple: Need nothing, want nothing, be happy with what comes when it comes.

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What Are Our Choices? Finding Inspirational Life Quotes

The following is a very intense Facebook conversation that my self, and my wonderful “ friends” had about “Choice”. I believe that as we listen to each others’ voices, we can begin to recognize our God’s Voice – loving Presence – in our others’ words. God is here …. And trying to reach and love us ….. I have a need to listen, feel, and experience their Presence – without shaming and blaming my self with false beliefs in abilities I do not have.

I am wishing you God’s Presence as you listen to our voices......

Will Wass: FB post: “If we choose to take the wrong path, it's usually our sanity that we seem to lose first…..”

Question: if we have the ability to chose between different choices, why would we deliberately chose the “wrong path”? …. Our culture seems addicted to the illusion of “choice” …. Like in the Garden of Eden, the temptation was that they would be like God, knowing good and evil …. they would be able to make conscious choices without needing a relationship with God …. Maybe -- the offer is still open …. Just bite the fruit of knowledge and engage self-will …. Or maybe – give up the fruit, and our powerless self-wills, and consciously connect to Their loving Presence – become our true and God created Selves ….

Lori C Thanks I needed to read this!

Melanie R I can’t answer that ….I have been choosing the wrong path for 2 years now. If someone knows how to avoid the wrong path, please let me know.

Will Wass Melanie: Maybe --- you haven't been "choosing" .... maybe in our disconnectedness from our God, we have lost the ability to know the truth, and to make healthy sane choices ... Maybe we need to reconnect to our God, and let Them empower us with Their loving care to know and live Their loving and perfect plan/will for our lives .... If we "chose" wrong, maybe we didn't "chose" -- maybe we were powerless ...

Thanks

Craig W One of the main reasons is we as humans are attracted to different things, things dangerous or risky, things that give us the illusion of being better than what we have and more. An example is a man or woman who is married but get caught up in having extra marital affairs, and the ones who leave for another person. You know the old saying

"The grass always looks greener on the other side.” Another thing to remember are those who make stupid choices because of thinking it will make them look better or be liked more all because they have no confidence in their selves.

Tara M For myself I didn't feel deserving of the good. So I would sabotage myself by making the wrong choices. Thank God I don't live my life like that today.

Deborah H low self esteem or a lack of loving self was my problem....before I got to know God had a lot to do with bad decisions in my life....make better decision today,,,, Thank you GOD

Mindy M.W I may not always know what the exact "right" choice is, but almost ALWAYS know what it is NOT. If I can't be sure, I pray, wait until the right answer comes. When in doubt-do the opposite!

Lynda K Definitely I had always been my own worst enemy! Self sabotage...

Nancy D When I have taken the wrong path it has always been a conscious decision; a choice. I have chosen insanity for the freedom of it -- with that came the ability to forget about having a conscience, responsibilities, and any good I had been...

Shanni F Guess the question lies in what is meant by "wrong" path . . . paths may be wrong for me in one way (perhaps in the short term) but right for me in another way (perhaps in the long term). I choose what is seemingly the wrong path sometimes because I am looking for an easier softer way, or because I think I can get away with something, but invariably I have grown and learned things from those journeys that I could not have learned another way. "There are no wrong choices, just different consequences." I have lost my sanity many times only to find that I wasn't really sane before I thought I lost it.

Bryan B I took the path less traveled by and that made all the difference!

Janis D It's not what you know that's wrong, it’s what you know. Laney R.

Will Wass Nancy: perhaps the event was conscious, but the choice was not .... I have observed my self say and do things totally opposite to what I had determined to do and say -- without any ability to stop .... I was conscious but I was not doing what I had chosen to do.... and if we had a choice, why would we chose insanity and pain.... Thanks for your helpful sharing..

Will Wass Shanni: I agree.... there really are no wrong choices -- just unexpected consequences .... My God can take what is perceived as "wrong choices" and turn them into spiritual gifts, if I turn the outcomes over to Them..... spiritual growth experiences .... In our spiritual life maintenance group (Twelve Steps) today we talked about telling a sponsor or recovering friend about our perceptions and reactions so they can actually do our 10th Step inventory for us .... because we can't trust our own sanity in reviewing ourselves .... Thanks for your comments.....

Dave D If we did not have the power of choice we would be like robots. People make wrong choices for a variety of reasons. Consequence is a part of life. God as our Father wants so much be a part of our decision making process but it is our choice rather to listen or not to act or not according to His will!!! The father of the prodigal son is the ideal picture of God. The son made the choice to say give me and the father gave.

Will Wass Dave: I don't believe that I have the power of choice .... it is my personal experience that in the past, I have "decided" -- "chosen" -- to do certain things, and found my self unable to do "it" .... The metaphor of my experience is this: imagine having an electrical appliance that has been properly manufactured electrically to do a certain task .... it is delivered to your house and set up in the appropriate area of the house -- but not plugged into an outlet .... so we come in and begin pushing buttons and turning knobs, and doing what the instructions say we should do to make it work .... but as long as it is not plugged in to the power of electricity -- if electricity is not present -- it has the ability to operate but not the means to operate .... it is powerless ....

We are the same .... the temptation in the Garden of Eden was that they would be like God -- knowing right and wrong -- able to turn themselves on and off at will -- without being intimately connected to God .... and we see the consequences of their delusion, and of the same delusion with mankind .... we have no functional, operational will except to the extent we are intimately connected to our God .... Otherwise, we are tossed about by every wave of emotion -- compelled by instinctive mental forces from our reactions to pain and fear -- to do what ever brings temporary relief -- no matter its health, sanity, or long term consequences -- personal and moral destruction ....

It is my experience that religion has needed a reasoning that allowed it to blame people for their behavior and damn to hell if they did not conform to its rules … control ….and so it created the myth of free will to accomplish this agenda …. I only have an operational will to the level that I am intimately and consistently connected to a God of my personal experience and relationship …. And that begins with disconnecting my self from the tempting fruit of self will, by experiencing – painfully --- that I am indeed powerless …. helpless and doomed without my God’s loving conscious Presence …..

Apostle Paul: “For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not do; but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the principles of good. But, now, it is no longer I who does it , but the shame (separation from God) that dwells in me ….” ….Rom. 7 ……. my experience, strength and hope …..

Without God's Presence, we are "robots" being operated by the mental programming of pain and fear -- shame and separation -- doing whatever necessary to avoid the incredible and wretched pain of separation from God, from our selves, and from others .... and without connecting intimately and consistently with his father, the prodigal son was doomed to do it all over again .... powerless ....

Thanks for your response ...

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Step Eight of the Twelve Steps: Self-Forgiveness and Inspirational Life Quotes

I chaired a Twelve Meeting on the Eighth Step of the Twelve Steps this past week .... These are my notes and reflections.

Step Eight: Self-Forgiveness of Harms

We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

Equivalent of 4-6 Steps: dependent on 1st three steps

1. Make a searching inventory of how we have seemingly harmed others;
2. Admit to God, our selves and another human being the exact nature of our harm: our fear, woundedness and powerlessness.
3. Become entirely ready to have God remove our guilt and shame for our harm of others.
4. Column 4 of 4th step: our part (where we had a part)
5. Difference from AA: exaggerated responsibility vs little to no responsibility.

Goal is forgiveness of our selves: goal is not to restore and repair relationships -- addiction to outcomes requires we not enter amends unless we are spiritually prepared.
1. Problem is the punishment and injury we inflict on ourselves for our perceived harm to others: forgiveness is to stop abandoning our selves for our harms of others – to see ourselves through God’s eyes.
2. Others must ultimately deal with their own resentments and pain: most non-recovering persons do not have the spiritual tools to do so.
3. Step One and Two are critical: acceptance that we are helpless to do otherwise –without establishing a conscious contact relationship with God.

Willingness must produce spiritual readiness: otherwise related discomfort –shame and resentment toward ourselves and others -- will sabotage efforts, on some level.

Perceived harm – not just real harm: having a negative attitude toward someone might feel like harm, but not actually be. (see notes 8/9/09)

Definition of “harm”:
1. Anything I did that I feel or felt guilt for doing. (perceived and real)
2. Separation from another: abandonment, abuse, neglect, betrayal.

Types of harm: factor in determining actual amends.
1. Active (lying, stealing, physical threat or harm .....)
2. Passive aggressive (e.g. sarcasm, “pushing buttons”)
3. Passive (e.g. silence, and ignoring of others)

Versions of harms: all harm ultimately is determined by perception, reaction, and memory. (for example, sarcasm – real or perceived?)
1. Real – black and white, clear (eg. Stealing, physical damage, verifiable actions .....)
2. Perceived by me.
3. Perceived by the other person.
4. Perceived by both by both of us.
5. Reviewed and verified or not verified by sponsor.

Types of amends status:
1. Ready
2. Not ready
3. Never

Spiritual Process:
1. Step One – powerlessness, so not because we were bad.
2. Step Two – need to have a close and conscious relationship with HP/God that can bring our forgiveness of ourselves. – restore to sanity with improving conscious contact with God.
3. Step Three – take the necessary action to trust God with our perceptions, and reactions of harm.

Barriers to amends that needs to be addressed:
1. Past harm from the other person, and current resentments.
2. Fear of abandonment, rejection, and abuse by other – and our selves when amends made:
3. Possibility that we will be reharmed by the other person
4. Lack of clarity regarding what is appropriate amends in each case.
5. Shame and guilt for what we have done – pain and fear.

Preparation:
1. Metaphor: alcoholic not to go into bar 1. unless has a clear and legitimate reason to be there, and 2. unless spiritually in a good place.
2. Some one addicted to outcomes: same for preparation for making amends.


Readings: from The Courage to Change
1. Page 101 – exaggerated sense of responsiblity
2. Page 162 – 3 categories of amends
3. Page 242 – dealing with guilt
4. Page 263 – the list and the 4th step

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Journalling --October 31, 2009 -- Listening and Inspirational Life Quotes

Nearly twenty-five years ago, I was in counseling with an Episcopal priest, who gave me an assignment to write a letter to God. In the next session, I read and we discussed my letter and my relationship to “God”. For the next session, the priest gave me the assignment of writing a letter from God to me.

It seemed very strange and awkward, but I was in enough pain to be willing to do anything he asked. At the next session, we processed my letter and my experience and insight in writing the letter. As I was reflecting on my writing, it occurred to me that the amazing experience that I had with this assignment might be “useful” as a daily spiritual activity.

Almost every day since then, I have done this very thing – a “letter” to God about what was going on in my life, my feelings, and what I was struggling with – and a “letter” of what I felt God saying to me. It has been a wonderful and life changing experience of spiritual enlightenment – of increasing conscious Presence with a loving God, whom I have learned to call “Mom and Dad”. I would like to share some of this experience with you here.

October 31, 2009
Mom & Dad,
Good morning! Everything is moving in on me with this cruise coming. I feel anxious, pressured – afraid that I will not have prepared coverage for K’s practice adequately. Please help me and lead me. What do I need to know and do today?

Listening. Always, always learning to listen. We are “hear” – hear and feel our breathing Presence within you.
Your course swings in and out. Questions trigger inner undisclosed wounds – energies stored in stasis chambers (of your brain – near your heart. Connection and separation – swinging in and out – listening for our voices – through the darkened walls of your mind.
The entrance to new places emerges from the debris of old experiences – mangled pieces of discarded selves – like the valley of dry bones (Bible) – and as you stand – open – in our Presence – the “bones” begin to come together and life begins to regenerate inside of you. Living tissue – blood vessels full of spiritual Presence – flowing – throbbing – then beating smoothly – life flowing and beating as you become – alive – loved and nurtured by our caring and unconditional Presence.
Lifeless becomes lifefull.
We are here.

"A merry heart doeth good like is medicine,

but a broken spirit drieth the bones."

Proverbs

(Inspirational life quote from a meditation book):
“Intuition is a spiritual faculty and does not explain, but simply points the way.” Florence Scovel Shinn
“We will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us.”
Seems to me that if “spiritual” means higher Presence, then energy from intimate closeness with you fills the mental voids (of my brain) created by past injuries of separation.

As a human, you want to “know” things – clear, dependable, usable information. Nothing that is knowable is real – they are only thoughts – fixed patterns of neural energy within the brain. Thoughts are created out of space and time – which are also, “not real” – only perceptions of the brain.

The necessity and importance of “love” is that in its truth, experience and thought forms -- creates a bridge from thought to our Presence – an emerging consciousness called intuition – spiritual enlightenment, awareness that exceeds the facility and use of words. Words are only as real as the presence experienced through them. Eventually – as you move and become closer to us, words will dissolve into the nothingness that they are – and what will be left is an intimate connection which can be best described from this side as “love”.

Love is greater than faith, because it is the highest level of faith. Faith is most frequently thought. Belief means one thinks a certain statement to be true. Love means one experiences such an intimate connection with us that thoughts and words disappear and all that is left is conscious Presence, closeness, unconditional acceptance and companionship – with us – to others. There are no longer explanations – thoughts and words – because you have transcended matter –becoming spiritually Present – intuitively “knowing” things that your brain can not know or process.

Flow.

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We Need More Than Answers -- Inspirational Life Quotes

Computers are useless.
They can only give you answers.
Pablo Picasso

Answers are the enemies of spiritual solutions. Knowledge is the enemy of spiritual enlightenment. Intellect disables spiritual experiences. Psychology is the enemy of spiritual Presence and nurturing intimacy.

What do answers, knowledge, intellect and psychology all have in common? They are based on mental thought and not on spiritual experience. So they produce a distraction which gives temporary relief to inner separation and pain. But ultimately it creates more separation – and therefore more pain.

We need something – someone – who gives more than answers – who brings intimate spiritual enlightenment into the darkness of our abandonments – someone whose loving and caring Presence brings spiritual healing to our wounded souls.

WE have this Someone – when we are WE!

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Inspirational Comments from Facebook -- inspirational Life Quotes

For me, FaceBook has become a wonderful source of daily inspirations and spiritual Presence. I am very grateful to the wonderful people who share their personal experiences, strengths, and hopes – allowing me to listen to my God in their words …… and in my own responses to their words. My God is always speaking …. It is really helpful –blessings and gifts -- to have so many friends who are willing to be Their messengers….

I would like to share some of my experiences with you …..

Hope – or Not…..

Keli: “Hope is an extension of our Faith that God will fulfill his promises” ~ Givens ( From "The
Dopeless Hope Fiend")

Will: For me, hope can be a preoccupation with a mentally induced fantasy/delusion of what could happen .... like a child who believes in the myth of Santa Claus and is expecting a desirable outcome based on their fantasy .... a mental distraction .... loss of consciousness ….
Or hope can be the intuitive sense of okness, wellbeing and loving closeness that comes from a steadily ... improving "conscious contact with God" .... a peace that passes all understanding .... a joy unspeakable and full of wondrous Presence .... a hope that is not disappointing because Their love is being poured generously and steadily into our hearts ..... a spiritual awakening as a result of these Twelve Steps --- living spiritual principles of hope and healing.....
Where our brains stop thinking and "drinking" …..stops using some mood altering human actions –
here our hearts begin to experience .....Presence..... the ultimate spiritual "guarantee" ..... that all will well in this life ….. and in the hereafter ….



Can You?.......

Michael: “You must do the thing you cannot do.”~~Eleanor Roosevelt

Will: The problem is that we can't do what we cannot do ..... maybe that's why we need a God of our conscious contact and personal experience .... They restore us to an ability to do what THEY can do .... If we could "do it", we would not need Them .... what an incredible loss that would be .... In our weakness we are made strong in them …. we have closeness with them ..

The basis of human shame and spiritual illness is the message and belief that we can – and should – do things we cannot do. Others have held us accountable and responsible for perceptions, reactions, actions -- and outcomes -- that we could not control. I experience that my God looks not at my actions and outcomes but at my “heart” …. And Their perception of me – and others – is that we are special, good enough – in fact wonderful – and unconditionally loveable and worthy of being cared about by Them …. They reprogram my brain to see me and others through Their eyes and “mind”….

Simple … But Not Easy ….

Keli: A simple program ~ The program is simply sharing, working the Twelve Steps, attending meetings, and practicing the principles of the program.
Our complicated lives can be made a lot less complicated if we concentrate on a few simple things sharing our experience, strength, and hope with others, regular meeting attendance, and practicing the principles of the program in our daily lives.
By sharing our experience, strength, and hope with others, we provide a powerful example for newcomers to follow. The effort we put into helping others also helps keep self-centeredness, the core of our disease, at bay.
Many of us pick one group, a home group, whose meetings we attend faithfully. This regularity gives some routine to our lives, and lets others know where they can find us if they need us.
Practicing the Twelve Steps in our daily lives makes the difference between a balanced recovery and simply not using. The steps give us some much-needed guidance in managing our everyday affairs.
Yes, we are complex people. But Twelve Steps programs simplifies our lives, enabling us to live a life free from active dependence. Our lives can be filled with serenity and hope when we live by the guidance of the simple principles of our program.
Just for today: I will remember that, while I am a complex person, Twelve Steps is the simplest way for me to make my life less complicated.
Copyright © 1991-2010 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc


Will: I do a 12 Step Spiritual Maintenance group on Thursdays, and today we were sharing about this subject: the Twelve Steps program is simple but not easy. The reason for this is that the intellectual concepts and directions are mentally "simple" and easy to understand by the cerebral cortex part of the brain. But dependency, and addiction are not located the intellectual cerebral cortex part of the brain. It is located in the involuntary, non-cognitive primitive part of the brain. So we can literally know what to do that is healthy and right, and be totally incapable of doing it or of responding rationally to that knowledge.... Literally, the basics of recovery are intellectually simple --- but virtually impossible to practice .... by me .... That's why we start with Step One: we admitted (and experienced) that we were powerless -- helpless to override the perceptions and reactions of our wounded brains .... powerlessness and helplessness becomes the basis for and beginning of true spiritual experience -- conscious contact with God .... This is my experience, strength and hope ....


We Need to Lose Our Minds ……

Thinus: Sometimes you have to lose your mind before you come to your senses...

Seren: So strange, I was just thinking that. Kind of like "hitting bottom"?
Thinus: Yup that's it.
Seren: Not my favorite memory, but definitely the catalyst for grace.
Nurse Mary: yea and we must always remember our bottoms have a trap door!!
Bronwyn: So that's what is happening to me - and I have so much to look forward to - finding my senses and coming to them! yay! Can't wait!


Will: My experience: "hitting a bottom" was losing my mind .... otherwise, my thoughts would be still anesthetizing my feelings -- my " senses" ..... and I would be convinced that "I can and should handle ‘it’." .... "it's just not that bad" .... thinking is more mood altering than drinking or drugging .... Most people never really recover because they are never able to “lose their minds” ….. and experience the truths of our helplessness without steady, conscious interaction with our God ….

The Need to Fall Down to Look Up ….

Angie: "When you fall down, look around. You may discover something you couldn't see when you were standing up.".......................

Will: If I had never "fallen", I would never have "discovered" – or experienced consciously -- my God's loving Presence .... to grow in Their Presence, I must continue to “fall” ….. from my humanness….
If we are not careful, our brains will use our appearance of success with certain outcomes as proof that we can and should understand and control “our lives”…. The gifts of “failures” are awarenesses and conscious experiences that we are powerless … alone …



Theodore: Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” --Wilson(via Denise)


Will: My experience: to confront my "dark selves" can be like attacking a wounded and cornered animal ..... dangerous at best .... our dark selves are lost selves who were wounded by separations and abuse ... they need to be loved and nurtured into God's love light, and brought home to be restored to our truest Self .... they don't need anymore rejection and abuse ....
(As I journalled about my dark or shadow selves, I realized that these are parts of me that are the furtherest from conscious Presence with my God … the most wounded, terrorified, enraged – instinctively self protective …. They are not bad – but very, very hurt …. and abandoned ….)


Being Perfect ….

Loretta: The word "perfect" doesn't mean that we have to do everything just right and live without making a mistake. Thank God, b/c we can't to that! It means "devoted" ~ a heart dedicated, loyal and faithful to God. The Word tells us that God shows Himself strong in behalf of those whose hearts are "perfect" toward Him (2 Chron.16:9)

Will: For me: "perfect" is an expression of the attitude of unconditional love and care -- and clarity of perception -- that God has toward us .... They do not see us as wrong or bad ... in Their eyes, we are "perfect" .... They would only like for us to stop abusing our selves with our shame, and self-abuse ..... Perfectionism is the state of being unable to accept that we are already perfect .... at least in Their eyes .... In our human eyes. we generally "suck", never good enough, always wrong and bad – in one way or another ..... Maybe being "restored to sanity" includes beginning to see our selves through Their eyes.... not through the painful separation of our diseases of humanness and dependency .... Conscious intimate contact with out God clears away the unhealed distortions of the past …
Maybe the closest to a mistake we can be is to perceive that we are mistakes.....

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Waves of Returning Selves -- Inspirational Life Quotes

Motions. Massive, massive motions.

Waves and waves of flowing, fluid sensation –

from somewhere –

sometime – elsewhere –

washing .... washing across –

over -- the neural pathways ....

patterns ....of my brain ..... repeating ....

replaying .... recurring .... patterns of sensation .,,,,

lost in the past of unremembered silence ....

and desperation .....

seemingly disconnected .....

seemingly abandoned ...

struggling to stand alone, erect

against rising tides of past selves ....

rushing forward, toward .....

into depths and shallows of my soul.

I am being flooded with what I cannot see .....

overwhelmed by what I cannot remember ....

crowded deep into narrow crevices of my mind,

vacant corridors of long forgetting..... then .....

from somewhere from beyond comes that Voice –

narrowed sounds within my heart .....

expanding into lightening and softening reminders ....

we may not be alone – unloved – forgotten....

invited to follow the waves .... Their waves ....

going home

Problems are Gifts of Spiritual Enlightenment -- Inspirational Life Quotes

There is no such thing as a problem
without a gift in its hands.

Richard Bach

My brain has two basic categories of life events: what it wants, and problems. It is programmed genetically, socially, and emotionally to avoid problems, and to pursue what it “wants” – to control outcomes. The “belief” seems to be that if everything in my life went as my brain “wanted”, we would be happy and ok.

Fortunately that is not true. If everything and everyone’s being the way I wanted was the meaning and answer to life, I would be severely short changed – and hopelessly lost.

In my experience, I don’t really know what I want – because I can get people and circumstances to be my way, and still be miserable. There is something else – there are “more” – and not more desirable outcomes.

Problems, to me, are reminders that I don’t have what I “want” – and problems are directions toward finding what I am really looking for. They remind me when I am not happy, so I can seek change. And they remind me which path to stay on toward spiritual enlightenment.

My only real problem in life is separation from my God’s higher Presence. When we get separated from each other, I begin to fear, and hurt, and fight what is.

Problems are problems because they bring my pain and fear into conscious experience. Problems are gifts of life – solutions – because they remind me to reconnect and stay connected to my God, to others, and to myself – to find the hope, love, and joy of spiritual enlightenment in conscious Presence.

We need to have “problems” today – undesirable and uncontrollable life events – so we can receive the spiritual healing gifts of spiritual enlightenment, and loving Presence.

Embrace the undesirable. Treat them with daily inspirations and life’s precious moments. They will bring us to spiritual enlightenment -- back to our precious selves.

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Love Heals -- Spiritual Healing and Inspirational Life Quotes

Love cures people, the ones who receive, and the ones that give it, too.
Karl A. Menninger

“Love” is an interesting word in our culture. People can love ice cream, clothes, movies, TV shows, vacation places – and other people. Somehow the same word does not seem to mean the same in each situation.

And yet, the impression we can get from others is that everyone knows exactly what the word means. Frequently this seems to really be a case of “missing identity.”

Dr. Menninger describes “love” as the cure for people. I agree with his statement, only I believe we have to clarify what aspect of spiritual healing “love” involves.

Perhaps a place to start is with what “illness” does humans have that needs to be “cured” – why do we need spiritual healing at all.

In my experience, all human illness is caused by separation – from God, from others, and most acutely from ourselves. The condition of humanness is one of loneliness, guilt, fear, pain, anger – and sadness. All of these symptoms are directly related and proportionate to our level of our personal separation and sense of abandonment.

So what does love do that can cure our disease of humanness? Maybe “love” is about being intimately reconnected to God, to others, and to ourselves.

My experience is that God interacts with humans by means of Presence – an unconditional availability and flow of “loving” interpersonal energy which could be the definition of “love”.

Perhaps, if we were to interact with others using unconditional attentiveness and companionship, and gifts of caringness – spiritual presence to others -- maybe we would find people who responded to this spiritual treatment, and experienced spiritual healing of their human condition. Maybe like Dr. Menninger said, we would also find ourselves experiencing spiritual healing and spiritual enlightenment as well.

Let’s try and see.

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Poem: "Re-emerging Selves" -- Inspirational Life Quotes

My silence pounds walls of repetitive wordings,
living encapsulating in blocks of sound,
flashes of remembering
the unforgotten swirls of past moments –
events and experiences in the “Now”
of my human beingness.
Every object, event, coated
in emotional energy and glistening
with presence and absence – won and lost.
My mind has fashioned,
constructed…
reconstructed…
demolished….
and reconstructed…
so many selves of experience…
into narrow streams of solidified thought….
Dammed by survival…
resisting possible fluidity…
walls of blindness created in desperate silence…
I am….
We are…..
Reemerging…..
from desolation and destruction…..
looking … for what is still hidden…
so deep….
in the presents of the past.

From my Journal: March 5, 2008

Where Do All The Voices Come From -- Inspirational Life Quotes

“So what's worse? Too many voices in your head or complete silence?“

This Facebook quote, along with recent writing and listening I have been doing, triggered some powerful new spiritual awakenings and experiences.

First, it is important to realize and experience that these voices are my “lost selves” – parts of me that were disconnected or dissociated from my actual Self in order to emotionally survive the emotional traumas of my life.

There are four awarenesses that I experienced about my inner voices:

1. When I experience confusion, memory losses, and difficulty making decisions, they is caused by being overwhelmed by these voices – lost selves --pressing me with their pain and fear and needs. Imagine being in a shopping mall full of people – at Christmas, and everyone turns and moves toward you – surrounding you --- talking, then yelling, then screaming information, feelings, demands, requestts, etc...... and imagine trying to process and survive the whole experience.

2. The majority of people survive and function within the material world and within relationships by using silence – the absence of consciousness of the voices. By depressing the operation of the neural pathways of the brain, the pirmitive brain instinctively turns off the sound of their voices. And when that doesn’t work, it will exaggerate, dramatize, generally flood the neural pathways with distracting new activity focused at external circumstances and outcomes – thought.

3. My experience is that we do not have the ability to listen, organize, and process their voices, and successfully address the needs that drives these lost selves into frenzied desperation.

4. What I need to do is to allow a simplification to occur – to become as a little child – in the loving, caring , ujnconditional Presence of my God, and to receive gentle guidance -- to help me move through the conscious experience and restoration of these lost selves. For me, my spiritual parents/guides operate through the Presence that resonates in others.

I perceive that the majority of human beings live materially “successful” lives in virtual silence -- not stillness – silence – the forced and constricted absence of sound -- not the quiet and flowing serenity of Presence. I define ‘success” experiencially as the reaching of enough life outcomes to be reasonably satisfied with life – often to notice of others as being accomplished or having “successfully” overcome sizable obstacles to do so. Most often, success, for humans, is perceived as being within the realm of objects and material outcomes, not relationships, closeness, or intimate awakenings.

“Success” in our modern culture typically entails the suppression of these inner voices – lost selves – in order to reach some external outcome. Consequently, I experience that those who our culture venerates with public media attention, as being the most “successful” are also the most unconscious. As I watch them, I experience the feeling that no one is home. I only experience their masks -- hiding deeper and deeply wounded selves.

The efficiency of unconsciousness – the dead and dying selves lie decomposing on the screens of our televisions and cinemas – in our politics, music, and entertainment. I feel sad. So much wonder and beauty of selves lost in the blinding glares of deafening outcomes.

If you are hearing your inner voices, too, and would like some comforting Presence, and direction, try some of these blogs that I have written, and feel free to contact me on Facebook, or by email.

We can all help each be restored to sanity – truer and more complete versions of ourselves. Our lost selves need us to improve our conscious intimate contact with our God so they can come home. We and they do not have to be alone today.

Click here: Finding Daily Inspirations

Returning to the Secret Garden of Lost Selves

Twelve Step Spiritual Life Management

Dr. Kathy T., MD -- Mother"s Day

Your devotion to your calling and gifts has left you without the physical presence of infants, toddlers, and children.

But your loving devotion to others has loved and parented

thousands of children who would otherwise not have had a parent’s or grandparent’s presence to love them.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

Will

Caring presences touch deeply,

leaving seeds

of new beginnings.

wwass

Returning to the Secret Garden of Lost Selves -- Inspirational Life Quotes

I was in a spiritual support group today where the topic was Step Five of the Twelve Steps:

We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs (the nature and symptoms of our emotional illness).

This step is the continuation of Step Four:

We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

In Step Five, we reach out to our God through the flesh and blood of another human being, and together we move away the debris that blocks the door to the Secret Garden... Will W.

For the complete article, click here: Returning to the Secret Garden of Lost Selves.

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Fear Opens Our Hearts to Spiritual Enlightenment -- Inspiration Life Quotes

Anxiety is the natural result when our hopes are centered in anything short of God and his will for us.
Billy Graham

I struggled the greater part of my life, trying to determine what God’s will was for me. I didn’t realize until the last fifteen years that I was wanting to know the terms of the contractual relationship that God was seemingly offering everyone. If I could determine “His” will and do it, God had to give me what I wanted – primarily to be loved and cared about.

To know and fulfil God’s will had become my will, and it was failing miserably – no matter how much I tried to sacrifice and martyr myself to please “Him”.

Anxiety was a given. I was not measuring up to my expectations of how I believed I should please God, and I knew – from religion – to expect my impending judgement and my imminent destruction.

Over the past twenty years, I have begun to learn and experience certain “truths” – at least for me.

First of all my God, as I experience Him -- and Her -- has no rules by which They judge and punish me. Their love is unconditional and constant --irregardless of my actions and thoughts. My problem is my judgement and punishment of myself based on the rules that I have been programmed to believe they have for me.

Second, God’s will is exactly what I would want, if I knew myself, and what I wanted as They do. In the purest sense, God’s will and what I really want are the same.

Third, God’s will is a natural result of living in intimate closeness and love with Them. Their intent is for me to know and experience my truest selves, and with their loving support, to live increasing complete in that spiritual enlightenment.

Anxiety is the beginning of spiritual enlightenment, because it reminds us that we are still not yet completely connected to our God’s higher Presence and love. It is the beginning of a “faith” beyond thought, and hope beyond understanding – not the opposite. To conscious feel anxious is to become present and available for their love to flow into our hearts and being.

The maintenance of spiritual presence and spiritual enlightenment requires the following: experience our feelings – especially anxiety; increasingly connect ourselves to Their loving Presence through daily inspirations and precious moments of experience and hope; and consistently take the action necessary to stay intimately connected to their loving care.

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Turn On God's Love Light -- Inspirational Life Quotes

Every day my eyes would automatically open as the sun began to rise. I’d lie there and not just look at the dawn, the dawn would enter me. The imprint of sunshine – of a new day following the darkness of night – made its way into my cells.
Marianne Williamson

Light – spiritual enlightenment – precious moments illuminating the darkness – experiencing daily inspirations – bursts of God’s Presence – as we spiritually awaken to spiritual healing -- from painful darkness.

I heard of a child who was chronically punished for being unacceptable by being placed in a small closet underneath the stairs. Her mother called it the “Mean Kid’s House”.

The child and her siblings would work hard and sometimes they would be given a little money. When her siblings had a chance, they would buy candy. But the child from the closet would buy candles. The candles were so she could have light in the darkness of her “Mean Kid’s House”.

Darkness is the absence of loving, caring, unconditional Presence – from others, then causing a sense of separation from God, and ultimately separating us from ourselves. Sometimes it is as physical as a closet, but more often it is a dark and sad place inside of us.

We all live or have lived in the “Mean Kid’s House”. Shame, guilt, fear, loneliness, and sadness – mental and spiritual darkness – have surrounded our existence and experience. A conditional world had abandoned us in order to avoid themselves.

Many of us created imaginary friends, selves, lives to fill the darkness with blind hope – actually temporary mental painkillers fashioned in painful desperation. Nothing changed – and we remained hopelessly damned to the empty stale and blinding silence. The only voices were the voices within our brains – and even they became progressively more and more abusive.

To escape, we must begin to find “candles” – sources of light, love and Presence. “Candy” is nice. But loving Presence begins to shatter the darkness with new inner sources of hope and healing. Our lives begin to change – spiritual enlightenment begins to burn – beginning as just a spark, and becoming radiating beams of warming Presence and spiritual healing.

Our God knows the way out. We need to find and follow Their loving Light out of our darkness and into Better Places by Their loving design and care.

The imprint of sunshine – of a new day following the darkness of night – made its way into my cells. And one morning it was as though I heard the voice of God, telling me as I witnessed the dawn that “Such is the work I will do within you.” I too would experience a new dawn after the dark night of my soul. God would give me a new beginning. I knew it then. And as I closed my eyes and drifted back to sleep, I thanked Him with all my heart. And my heart was healed.
Marianne Williamson



In the darkness shall be the light, and in the stillness, the dancing.
e.e. cummings

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God's Love Through Us, Through Others -- Inspirational Life Quotes

Let God love you through others, and let God love others through you.

D.M. Street

In the Bible, there is a reference to how “God became flesh and dwelt among us,” referring to Jesus. And Jesus said, “these things that I do shall you do – and greater things.” To me, these references describe the need, and the resources we as human beings have for a “flesh and blood” connection to God’s higher loving Presence – spiritual enlightenment.

The challenge with this spiritual awareness is how to get past each other’s humanness to access the spiritual Presence we all possess. Many times we are distracted by what is often referred to as “ego” -- a barrier to seeing and experiencing the God Presence within each of us.

There is a resistance that forms inside of us when we are not consciously experiencing my own humanness and weakness – and God’s Presence. In this state, a separation occurs within ourselves, and a separate protective and artificial self appears – our ego. In its protectiveness, this ego version of our selves actually sabotages our ability to experience of God’s Presence through others.

In protecting me, my “ego” actually destroys the possibility of having the intimacy and closeness that is available and present.

This ego protective self does this in two ways:
1. First it distorts what others are communicating – verbally and nonverbally – recreating the separation and abandonments of my past – in the present. My “ego” replays the “tapes” of my wounded past within my current relationships as if it is occurring right now and with this specific person. It actually creates a hallucination of perception with corresponding distorted mental reactions and reactive actions.
2. Second the ego self rejects others – in the attempt to protect me – and actually creates the separation and abandonment that it is trying to prevent.

To reverse this process, we must begin to let God love us – through others – especially letting God love our protective ego selves. As I experience consciously my ego, and turn this wounded part of me over to God’s love through others, an energy begins to flow into me – a higher spiritual Presence – an emerging spiritual enlightenment. We are able to begin reliving our past and have different outcomes.

To continue this process, we need to also begin to let our God love others through us. The energy that flows through us to others creates an equal and greater level of loving Presence for us than we have given.

Let’s receive God’s unconditional loving Presence through others, and consciously send the same loving Presence to others through ourselves. Life will never be the same – it will be a better place by Their design.

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